trying to be nicer to everyone in my life
are you there god? it's me, margaret by kelly fremon craig, 2023
at the end of the 90s, bell hooks published all about love: new visions - an analysis of the concept of love in america. in the first few chapters, she notes that the current generation has lost what it means to love, and to be loved - they, instead, are more focused on the negative. some twenty years later, bell hooks could not have been more right.
think what you want to about hooks - but one thing is clear, gen z, and subsequently gen alpha, have a more negative outlook on life than previous generations. and truly who can blame us? we were raised in a time of wide-spread internet usage, where funny videos of people injuring themselves permeated the mainstream through tv shows like america's funniest home videos or apps like vine and tik tok. furthermore, forums and websites like liveleak and 4chan have made it acceptable to bully people anonymously and watch gorey videos. hell, even when charlie kirk died, you could find videos of him being shot on twitter.
it's no wonder everyone is depressed now.
we can change this, however. while there are valid and good critiques about bell hooks, i do think reading all about love is a fabulous place to start. additionally, i think just trying to be nicer to everyone in our life can make a change. and maybe that's too optimistic of me - but i believe that it's true.
to be clear, i'm not saying to go out of your way to be the best person ever - we're all human - but i am saying do some small, random acts of kindness for someone. for example, when i don't like someone - but i have to get along with them, i go out of my way to compliment them now. a simple "i like your shirt! it's really cute." makes you, the complimenter, and the person receiving it, the complimentee, feel good. honestly, you don't even have to mean it - it could be the ugliest shirt you've ever seen.
also -- what comes around goes around (i think that's the saying). i'm a firm believer in the idea that if you do good, good will come back to you. of course, this doesn't mean don't put in any work and everything will sort itself out. but i think it's a good principle to live by
in high school, the school social worker challenged me to find three things i like about someone i dislike at least once a week. i won't lie, i did falter sometimes. but when i did find those three things, she instructed me to focus in on that - and it made interacting with said person so much easier.
i hope you all do the same.