why does no one want to be friends anymore? (alternatively titled: i made a new friend and good lord he's a better friend than everyone else i've ever met and thats so sad and also kinda funny!)
hello!
i hope this blog finds you in good health and good spirits.
a few days ago, i met up with this guy off a dating app. he was shorter than me (i'm 6'1), but handsome - almost rugged. don't get me wrong, he was handsome, yes, but he had some ... working-class charm to him ... mixed in with a pinch of boyish looks and wide, jittery eyes that kept shooting around the dive bar as we sat, sipping water and feasting on our shitty burgers (they were $8). we made small talk, flirted a bit.
afterwards, we went to a local elementary school -- i had gone there for kindergarten before my parents pulled me into a neighboring school district -- and "healed our inner child" by swinging so high we could've touched the sun, which, at that point was dozing off.
some time passed by and he suggested to drop me off, and i agreed. that's when it hit me -- "we should just be friends, i don't really want to fuck you."
thank god.
thank. fucking. god. i didn't want to have sex with him - i didn't feel as if there was any chemistry with us -- at least, not romantic, but, perhaps one that you would develop with a childhood friend after knowing them for almost a decade, or a brother who's a year younger than you.
we've both made good on our promises to keep in touch since then.
it also got me thinking, why don't we have friends anymore? i feel like ever since i graduated high school everyone's been doing one of two things -- working or sleeping. it's the summer before college and everyone wants to save up, but, it's also the summer before college and this may be the last time we see each other again.
it's not the last time we'll see each other again, but, still, no one my age wants to be friends anymore. it's so puzzling -- are we all just screenagers now? are we all scared of being vulnerable around other people, to let our guard down around complete strangers?
i think we all need to make fools of ourselves once more. let your freak flag fly, let yourself be cringey, and be cringey with your friends and laugh.
we are all too obsessed with being the nonchalant dreadhead of our friendgroup and truly, it's getting to be soooo fucking boring. DO SOMETHING!!!
anyways, that's my daily life update/rant.
thank you for reading.
-- erin š